First Trance Again

Our journey began in my van, and fittingly on what would likely be the last day I would ever drive it we begin again. It was a bittersweet moment. That 2002 Dodge Caravan had been with me through so many chapters of my life—the vehicle in which I learned to drive, the backdrop for family vacations, the companion to solo adventures, and eventually my home on wheels. It was a space filled with memories, and one I willingly shared with him.

On a Zoom call from the driver’s seat, he guided me deeper and deeper into trance. I became aware of my heartbeat quickening and my chest rising and falling in a slow, rhythmic cadence. The world faded into the background as I focused entirely on his voice. The only other sensation was the wind drifting through the open windows.

I sank further, feeling a smile slowly spread across my face as I listened to him say, “My words are your focus, your guide, and your reality.”

He led me into the museum of my mind. We wandered into a gallery, and the image that stepped forward was my van in Oregon, parked beside a fish-and-chips truck. The colors were vivid, almost luminous, and the happiness of that journey washed over me so intensely that tears gathered in my eyes. I was saying goodbye to something that had carried me through so much of my life.

That night, I crawled into bed and slept more deeply than I had in a very long time. The weight of the previous days dissolved away. When I woke the next morning, all the reasons for my stress were still there, but I felt so rested and at ease that they seemed far more manageable than they had the day before.